Toxic Empathy: A Book Review
Whelp, I thought I would be wrapping together a Fallacy Friday post and a book review snuggly up together for you but that would make for too long a post. Sigh. I'll get back to Fallacy Fridays soon.
What I love about Allie Beth Stucky is that she is a clear communicator. Rarely does she muddy the waters. This can often get her in hot water, like the time recently she said of the oil roller lady that her behavior was demonic. She didn’t think it would blow up into a viral clip, but alas it is the Year of Our Lord 2025 and the people of God still cannot decide if this is a mean take or not.
I often say that we need to study church history more. Our pearl clutching would cease a little bit when reading what Luther said of the Anabaptists. He didn’t mince words. Not every word by Luther is defensible or needed to be said so harshly but we would do well to remember that heretical theology needs to be strongly called out because it creates confusion and disunity among the brethren. I would say Luther felt about the Anabaptists the way Stucky feels about this kind of charismatic movement.
This is the kind of clarity that she brings within the pages of her most recent book, Toxic Empathy. I do not know if this euphemism is original to Mrs. Stucky or not but it is just about the perfect descriptor of what has captured many Christian women. Many Christian women hold empathy, the idea of “walking in another’s shoes”, as the highest moral good. Stucky would agree that empathy can be good within the boundary of truth held within the pages of scripture.
She begins each chapter with a story from the point of view of the empath (someone who extremely empathetic). This is helpful because it challenges huge swaths of people that follow Stucky online (like myself) to remember what it is that is so persuasive about this kind of empathic argument. It forces the reader (assuming they are conservative at the very least) to consider the “empathetic view.” She then goes on to dismantle the underlying assumptions of that view and to help the reader understand why that view is indeed toxic.
At the base level, empathy becomes toxic when truth is discarded or made to fit the underlying empathetic assumption. There are multiple underlying and layered assumptions in each chapter (called lies) that are addressed. Here is a basic overview.
Chapter 1 address abortion as health care. The assumption pits baby against mother and assumes the mother’s “rights” trump the right of the baby to live. Stucky rightly reminds the reader that murder is not health care in any circumstance.
Chapter 2 address trans rights as human rights. This assumption asserts that we are gods which enables to change our gender. We are reminded that there is only one God who made you in His very image. We cannot and should not ever try to mutilate or medicate that out of ourselves. It isn’t even possible.
Chapter 3 is on love. I would say this is Stucky’s strongest chapter. It is well thought through and articulated. Many Christians have accepted “gay marriage” as a moral good because they want people to be able to love whomever they want especially within the framework of monogamy and faithfulness. Stucky admits that the marriage issue is something she was afraid to speak out on because she understood it would come with a lot of hate. She reminds the reader that God Himself has ordained and instituted marriage and defines is as one man and one woman married for life. Monogamy and faithfulness aren’t the test for marriage.
Chapter 4 speaks of the illegal alien. This chapter might be the hardest for some Christians to read since many woman have progressive tendencies when it comes to issues related to social justice. I have to admit, the story that she leads with does indeed pull at my heartstrings. The main issue is that we cannot have a country without boarders and laws. Boarders and laws are not something that the Lord is against. They are not evil. She reminds us that by letting in massive amounts of unfettered illegal aliens, we are also allowing murderous criminals within our nation.
The book culminates in Chapter 5 which addresses social justice. At the bottom of all of the previous chapters are those two words. Social justice, also known as Neo-Marxism or progressivism is the framework by which every other lie (chapter) is built on. It is imperative to understand what this framework is. When you are able to see the social justice lens in every one of the previous chapters whereby there is an oppressed victim, and an oppressor, then you cannot unsee the lie and will have an easier time thinking through each of these major issues that Stucky touches on.
Stucky brings clarity and conviction to each of these lies. She often speaks of each of these lies on her podcast, Relatable. If you have listened to her very often, as I have, you may come away from this book without learning a great deal. If you have not thought through many of these hot button issues, this is a great starter book for you. It is not hard to read as Mrs. Stucky speaks in every day language and the themes are easily grasped. It also would be a good book to hand to a friend or family member who may be on the progressive end of these topics (or maybe someone who is sliding in that direction) if you do not feel capable of explaining the intricacies of these delicate issues yourself. The only caveat would be to read the book first yourself. There’s nothing more aggravating then being handed a theology book by someone who hasn’t taken the time to read it for themselves.
Regardless, this is the kind of book I will come back to because of the clarity presented and the basic understanding it can provide for the conservative, progressive or any one in-between.